Another love story and cancer, but genders reversed

 

This also is a true story.

Also about a young couple.

Five years ago Tanisha, a pretty young girl, around 22 , an airhostess in Indigo airlines, came to me. She had a recent diagnosis of cancer of the colon but otherwise in good health.

Her boyfriend who came with her was very anxious and said, “We want to do everything possible for her, she is so precious”.

I said, “Certainly, we will do whatever best we can for her ”.

They were engaged to get married. She underwent surgery and he was waiting outside.

“Everything okay doc?”

I said, “All went well, she has no metastasis, so she will do well. Histopathology showed lymphnode positive so she has to undergo chemotherapy”.

When I mentioned chemotherapy she was a bit low and said, “Will I have hair fall?”

“May be but these drugs may not produce hair fall and that will be temporary.”

He said, “Can she bear children?” I said, “My friend, at this point of time her life is important, not procreation. But , we can preserve her ova for child bearing in future.”

She accepted all this with a smile and started undergoing chemotherapy. He was there for 1-2 cycles. After that I did not find him and her sister used to accompany her.

Then I asked, “Where is your fiancé?”

She gave a sad smile and said, “He broke the engagement.”

“Why? I thought he was very committed to you.”

She said, “His family was not in favour.”

I said, “But he could have had the guts to stand by you.”

There was no answer.

She completed 12 cycles of chemotherapy and after a couple of years of follow up, used to come occasionally. When she came last, she was her bouncing self and said, “Doctor, you know, I am flying Emirates and am so happy that I am able to see the whole world. Whatever happens, happens for good. Now I know who are my real support and who love me dearly.”

I said, “Of course, adversity shows you, your true friends.”

“In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends.” John Collins
ManjuV asked on twitter “what happens on reversal of genders”.

“This actually happened when a girl is the victim. Perhaps some men are selfish and will not hesitate to abandon a woman.”

 

 

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Why me?

 

Almost every day I am asked this question by my patients – “Why Me?”

“I have no habits, I do not drink or smoke, I am still young and need a full life.”

“Why Me?Why should I get this disease out of the blue.”

Well, I think there is no real answer and I keep searching for the answer for myself.

I regularly read Om Swami’s blogpost which are practical and pragmatic. Lot of people obviously ask the same question to spritual teachers also. Why me ? Why should I have misery in life or unhappiness or broken relationship.  He addressed this very well in his blogpost.

I think the most powerful quote of the blog is by Arthur Ashe. Arthur Ashe, the tennis legend and a gentleman, during coronary bypass surgery, had blood transfusion and unfortunately developed HIV because in those times the testing was not done. Finally when he was succumbing to the illness, he had  great strength and wisdom to take that calamity also in his stride.

Arthur Ashe :

“The world over – 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals.

When I was holding the cup I never asked GOD ‘Why me?’.

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD ‘Why me?’ ”

It is so important for all of us to remember that when we are successful when we get awards, medals, good jobs and all the luck, we never questioned ‘Why me?’

We assume that yes, this is what we have earned, what we deserve as we worked hard and and some luck which also favours those who are brave.

But as soon as there is some calamity or something bad happens, you question ‘Why me?’

So there are no real answers to this, as ups and downs are perhaps part of life. Yes, you will have many many good days, good years in the run and suddenly something bad happens and that is how life is. Indian philosophy has a profound explanation- Karma. If it helps , then believe.

So stop questioning ‘Why me?’ Life is not always a bed of roses. There are thorns too.

Yes, it is a most difficult test of your life test and we HAVE to pass the tough examination.