Why me?

 

Almost every day I am asked this question by my patients – “Why Me?”

“I have no habits, I do not drink or smoke, I am still young and need a full life.”

“Why Me?Why should I get this disease out of the blue.”

Well, I think there is no real answer and I keep searching for the answer for myself.

I regularly read Om Swami’s blogpost which are practical and pragmatic. Lot of people obviously ask the same question to spritual teachers also. Why me ? Why should I have misery in life or unhappiness or broken relationship.  He addressed this very well in his blogpost.

I think the most powerful quote of the blog is by Arthur Ashe. Arthur Ashe, the tennis legend and a gentleman, during coronary bypass surgery, had blood transfusion and unfortunately developed HIV because in those times the testing was not done. Finally when he was succumbing to the illness, he had  great strength and wisdom to take that calamity also in his stride.

Arthur Ashe :

“The world over – 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals.

When I was holding the cup I never asked GOD ‘Why me?’.

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD ‘Why me?’ ”

It is so important for all of us to remember that when we are successful when we get awards, medals, good jobs and all the luck, we never questioned ‘Why me?’

We assume that yes, this is what we have earned, what we deserve as we worked hard and and some luck which also favours those who are brave.

But as soon as there is some calamity or something bad happens, you question ‘Why me?’

So there are no real answers to this, as ups and downs are perhaps part of life. Yes, you will have many many good days, good years in the run and suddenly something bad happens and that is how life is. Indian philosophy has a profound explanation- Karma. If it helps , then believe.

So stop questioning ‘Why me?’ Life is not always a bed of roses. There are thorns too.

Yes, it is a most difficult test of your life test and we HAVE to pass the tough examination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lost my childhood friend

Not all stories of cancer have a happy ending.  It is a reality that we still lose patients. But if they are young, proactive and have a new family, you certainly feel sad.  My friend from childhood was playful and always helpful. He had his ups and downs but was always cheerful and faced life with equanimity.  He was diagnosed as CLL ( chronic Lymphatic Leukemia), a type of malignancy of blood and lymph nodes. He fought on gamely for  more than 5 years knowing the seriousness of disease.  He was doing well, active physician in his profession, willing to help others and look after sick patients. But as fate would have it, suddenly the disease took over and he started succumbing to infections that led to further complications.

One often wonders again, as I said in the last blog, “Why good people should have bad outcomes”?  It applies not only to cancer but many other incidents, like accidents, cardiac illness.   How do you define fate? How to justify this as ‘Karma’? One of my patients recently asked- he never had a drink, never smoked and enjoyed teaching students and always helped others -why should he get a gastric malignancy?Did he do bad Karma is last birth? No evidence at all.

Frankly speaking, these are random, unfortunate events, rather unfortunate accidents that alter the course of life. Just as you have ‘stroke of luck’, you occasionally get ‘a bolt of bad Luck’.  Yes, I do believe in doing good, but that is not to expect that I will have great time rejoicing in heaven.  Mostly, the goodwill of those who receive your help sustains you and also gives you the positive energy.

Coming back to my friend, many advanced therapies were proposed.  Some of the drugs unfortunately are now not available in India. With a lot of difficulty a drug was flown in but as any new drug , it had its own side effects. This is the problem of modern medicine.

I feel the pain on loss of a dear friend, but what choice do we have but to get on with life.

I can only say that fight on gamely even if you know that the outcome may not be good.  That’s the best we can do.